pau1y:

what if 911 called you

best-of-funny:

assiest:

life is full of little surprises, for example:

‘dog food lid’ when read backwards is ‘dildo of god’

truly amazing

X

best-of-funny:

rexuality:

realistic captions for selfies:

• i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
• i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
• i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
• i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
• this is the best photo i’ve ever taken please shower me with compliments

X

best-of-funny:

miucciapet:

i only care about inner beauty

like bone structure

X

best-of-funny:

queen-of-france:

aliciasimmons:

fat-frank:

ieroplaceable:

help

how do you get a famous blog to follow you

give them a blowjob

swallow 4 follow

#was gonna tag this as ‘brb choking’ #realized i probably shouldn’t

X

best-of-funny:

drunktrophywife:

if you’re going to insult me please give me 24 hours notice so i can come up with a comeback

X

best-of-funny:

northlan-e:

its gotten to the point where i either feel no emotion or every emotion at once

X

best-of-funny:

if i haven’t said something sexual to you then we probably aren’t good friends

X